Calling him back from layoff

I called a man today. After he said
hello and I said hello came a pause
during which it would have been

confusing to say hello again so I said
how are you doing and guess what, he said
fine and wondered aloud how I was

and it turns out I'm OK. He
was on the couch watching cars
painted with ads for Budweiser follow cars

painted with ads for Tide around an oval
that's a metaphor for life because
most of us run out of gas and settle

for getting drunk in the stands
and shouting at someone in a t-shirt
we want kraut on our dog. I said

he could have his job back and during
the pause that followed his whiskers
scrubbed the mouthpiece clean

and his breath passed in and out
in the tidal fashion popular
with mammals until he broke through

with the words how soon thank you
ohmyGod which crossed his lips and drove
through the wires on the backs of ions

as one long word as one hard prayer
of relief meant to be heard
by the sky. When he began to cry I tried

with the shape of my silence to say
I understood but each confession
of fear and poverty was more awkward

than what you learn in the shower.
After he hung up I went outside and sat
with one hand in the bower of the other

and thought if I turn my head to the left
it changes the song of the oriole
and if I give a job to one stomach other

forks are naked and if tonight a steak
sizzles in his kitchen do the seven
other people staring at their phones

hear?

by Bob Hicok, from Insomnia Diary. © University of Pittsburgh Press.

While I the title of this article is a bit hyperbolic, it does make a good point. Read it.

The Worst Thing a Woman Can Call a Man

Like many nerds, I was quite impressed by the movie X-Men: First Class. It is easily the best movie in the X-Men franchise. What has impressed me almost as much as the movie itself are the number of reflections that I've seen regarding the justice issues in the movie and parallels with contemporary issues.

It's no secret that the struggle for mutant rights in the X-Men franchise has parallels with the civil rights, women's rights, and the gay rights movements. As a straight white male geek, this franchise gives me another way to talk to my people about the struggle for equal rights that goes around a lot of the stubbornness that comes with privilege. There are many entry points, like looking at Professor X and Magento as parallels for Martin Luther King Jr and Malcolm X, or the idea of being "outed" as a mutant as an example of being in the closet as a homosexual.

If exploring this film from the perspective of equality and justice interests you, I have come across some stimulating reviews. The first is from Ars Marginal, and reflects on the movie from the perspective of a person of color and a homosexual. The second is from Comics Worth Reading, and has a section that talks about women's rights in the film. The third is a review of the movie by a psychologist blogging on Psychology Today, exploring some of the psychological theories that come up in the movie. While the movie does revolve around issues of equality, it is not a film that achieved equality in it's production.


SPOILER ALERT: Don't read further if you haven't seen the movie.
It is a pretty white washed cast, with the one black character predictably dying soon after he is introduced, and the one latina character quickly siding with the "bad guys". The treatment of woman in the film is not that impressive. It is a period piece in the 60's, so some sexism is to be expected for accuracy's sake if not condoned, but for all the concern about mutant rights, even the mutant leaders are pretty backwards when it comes to gender issues. There is little overt reference to homosexuality in the film, though the interaction between Professor X and Magneto has long had homo-erotic overtones. Read this review for a further exploration of this idea.
END SPOILER ALERT

In short, this film is quite enjoyable and can provide great fodder to talk about justice issues with individuals who might not otherwise think about such things. But, it's easy to ask, "who was right, the Professor or Magneto?" without raising too many hackles, at least initially.

The necessary obligations which we feel we must meet grow overnight, like Jack's beanstalk, and before we know it we are bowed down with burdens, crushed under committees, strained, breathless and hurried, panting through a never-ending program of appointments. We are too busy to be good wives to our husbands, good homemakers, good companions of our children, good friends to our friends, and with no time at all to be friends of the friendless.

But if we withdraw from public engagements and interests, in order to spend quiet hours with the family, the guilty calls of citizenship whisper disquieting claims in our ears. Our children's schools should receive our interest, the civic problems of our community need our attention, the wider issues of the nation and of the world are heavy upon us. Our professional status, our social obligations, our membership in this or that very important organization, puts claims upon us.

We're weary and breathless. And we know and regret that our life is slipping away, with our having tasted so little of the peace and joy and serenity we are persuaded it should yield to a soul of wide caliber. The times for the deeps of the silences of the heart seem so few. And in guilty regret we must postpone till next week that deeper life of unshaken composure in the holy Presence, where we sincerely know our true home is.

from inward\outward

When Lloyd George, the British statesman, was a boy, one of his family responsibilities was to collect firewood for warmth and for cooking. He discovered early that always after a very terrific storm, with high winds and driving rain, he had very little difficulty in finding as much, and more, wood than he needed at the time. When the days were beautiful, sunny and the skies untroubled, firewood was at a a premium. Despite the fact that the sunny days were happy ones for him, providing him with long hours to fill his heart with delight, nevertheless, in terms of other needs which were his specific responsibilities, they were his most difficult times. Many years after, he realized what had been happening. During the times of heavy rains and driving winds, many of the dead limbs were broken off and many rotten trees were toppled over. The living things were separated from the dead things. But when the sun was shining and the weather was clear and beautiful, the dead and the not dead were indistinguishable.

The experience of Lloyd George is common to us all. When all is well with our world, there is often no necessity to separate the "dead" from the "not dead" in our lives. under the pressure of crisis when we need all available vitality, we are apt to discover that much in us is of no account, valueless. When our tree is rocked by mighty winds, all the limbs that do not have free and easy access to what sustains the trunk are torn away; there is nothing to hold them fast.

It is good to know what there is in us that is strong and solidly rooted. It is good to have the assurance that can only come from having ridden the storm and remained intact. Far beside the point is the why of the storm. Beside the point, too, may be the interpretation of the storm that makes of it an active agent of redemption. Given the storm, it is wisdom to know that when it comes, the things that are firmly held by the vitality of the life are apt to remain, chastened but confirmed; while the things that are dead, sterile or lifeless are apt to be torn away. The wheat and tares grow up together, but when the time of harvest comes, only wheat is revealed as wheat - and tares remain what they have been all along, tares.

Howard Thurman "The Pressure of Crisis" in Meditations of the Heart, pg 139-140

Today was harder than I expected, and I was buffeted in unexpected ways. In the process of figuring out what was broken free, what was revealed, and what branches remain. And wishing for a nice bonfire.

In watching the debates progress over the proposed budget in Washington, the attempt to break collective bargaining for state employees in Washington and many other economic harbinger of doom stories, I can't help but feel that something is being missed. I feel that a lot of the fear and angst over the economic woes in our country is presented in a way to artificially divide people into social classes who would be natural allies. Liberals, tea partiers, unemployed, middle class, conservatives, progressives, and so on.

This isn't to say there aren't differences but that those differences are being magnified to distract the people from the fact that we can agree on many, if not most things. We all want to feel stable and secure in our homes, jobs, and country. We know that the way of life that we have known is changing and it is frightening. The United States, the world's only remaining military superpower is having to confront that fact that it is no longer the only economic superpower. But out of that fear of change, we point at each other as the cause, instead of the larger economic forces.

To end this distraction campaign, I'm asking for people to start working together and encouraging one another to make the changes we can agree on. I'm calling them "Put Up or Shut Up" moments. If you want to be taken seriously, it is no longer enough to yell about a group that you don't agree with, but to help people make informed choices that will lead to real change.

So, here is my first "Put Up or Shut Up" suggestion. One of the causes of the financial crisis that we are in was the irresponsible behavior of the banking and lending industries. Instead of just waiting for the government to do something about this, there is one thing each of us can do to make an impact. Join a local credit union. They treat you better, your money stays in the community to help benefit others, and you can often get better rates. Go to http://moveyourmoneyproject.org/ to learn more.

From Introspective Comics:






































http://ryandow.com/ic/2007/03/11/everyone-else/

The Rally to Restore Sanity and or Fear

I was one of the lucky ones that went to Washington DC and attended the "Rally to Restore Sanity and or Fear." Since people have been asking how it was, here's a blog post. I'm going to start with my impressions of what the rally was about and was trying to achieve and then I will talk about the experience of being at the rally itself towards the end.

Was the rally political? Yes, insofar that politics is understood to be "a process by which groups of people make collective decisions." This was a rally designed to influence people's opinions and behaviors to improve how we work together as a society. Specifically, it was trying to get us as a nation to realize that the way the media chooses to report news and the way that politicians and pundits choose to relate to their constituents runs counter to the way we run our lives and is doing us a disservice. I'd say the rally was more about chastising the media than chastising politicians, because the media is supposed to serve as a buffer between politicians and the people. In short, the media is not doing their job by ratcheting the energy and fear up while neglecting to use editorial discretion to filter out the crazy.

Was the rally partisan? Not in the traditional sense of being for one political party over another. This seems to be where there are a lot of misconceptions in the media. Without rehashing the same discussions about the Daily Show in general, what I can give are my impressions from the rally. I was inspired to make a difference and to ratchet my own sometimes confrontational attitude back a little bit. I did not feel energized to go out there and vote Democrat or for any other party. The feeling I had, though fun and positive, was a marked contrast to how I felt being in Grant Park for Obama's election night rally. (pictures here) This rally made me realize that I miss having honest conversations about politics and society with honest, rational people who might not agree with me. At the election night rally, there was a sense of anticipation, victory and joy. At the rally to restore sanity, it was refreshing to see so many people looking for a more reasonable dialogue and a fun time. There wasn't the euphoria from the Obama rally, but there was a happy release hearing Jon Stewart say so clearly what I was feeling, that the political and media structures were getting out of hand, and working counter to the needs of the people.

This isn't to say that the rally didn't slant a bit to the left. How much you feel it slanted depends more on what you perceive to be progressive than on the content of the rally. I would describe it being mostly moderate, with much of the slant to the left from the rally attendees more than the rally presentation itself. In the interest of full disclosure, I also believe that in the last 20 years, if the facts of an issue would be examined without spin or hype, then the facts themselves would appear to lean towards the left using current standards. While what was said at the rally applies to both political parties and the media, I believe that the conservative end of the political sphere is more guilty of slanting issues and distorting data. But that's another discussion altogether.

The rally also reinforced for me the power of satire and of the jester. While Jon Stewart's speech at the end of the rally succinctly stated what his vision was and his hopes for how it would affect society, it was really the rally as a whole that drove the point home. It often gets overlooked that people's responses to politics and issues are not solely rational, but influenced by a variety of factors. While it can be said over and over that the vast majority of Muslims are not terrorists, that doesn't penetrate into the mind in the same way of the back and forth of Colbert and Stewart, attempting to defuse Colbert's increasingly irrational fears. By bringing out Kareem Abdul Jabbar, a household name for decades, as an example of how normal and accepted Muslims have been in our American culture, it brings it home in a different and more meaningful way. By using comedy, in enables us to examine our own fears and perhaps laugh at ourselves a bit more.

In a personal example, talking about the rally with my father earlier this week, the comedy made a deeper impression on him than any article I could have quoted to him. A self described independent and tea partier and a regular Fox News watcher, he was biased against the rally. By focusing on the humorous aspects of the rally, it enabled him to hear more, as he found it funny. Later in our conversation, as he'd say something unintelligent about Muslims in America, I would drop Kareem's name as a reminder. It seems to have worked. That, and giving him the facts about the proposed Muslim community center in New York City, versus the "victory mosque" on Ground Zero, but again, that's another discussion.

I don't mean to make the rally out to be a pure beacon of reasonableness and sanity in a chaos of pundits and politics. Except for the competing trains bit (peace train vs. crazy train vs. love train), most musical acts had a new album coming out, and except for the Roots, weren't that impressive. The myth busters bit, while fun (if you could hear them) was a bit of pandering to the geeky crowd. Some of the logistical critiques of the rally (poor soundsystem, lack of coordination, inadequate facilities and an overwhelmed transit system) were legitimate, though the unpolished flow was a nice change from the well choreographed political events and seemed to add a bit of legitimacy.

The thing that pleasantly surprised me the most was the diverse ages of the rally attendees. I thought it'd primarily be 20 somethings but there was a large showing of middle aged and elderly people. Also seeing a rally with a larger percentage of people of different races was nice, though it was still largely white. As I'm sure many of you have already seen, the signs were fun and inventive, (here's my pictures). Though there were a few that ripped on the tea party, Sarah Palin, Christine O'Donnell and George W. Bush, for the most part they were reasonable and as asked, brought down a notch. I did get the sense from some people that this was the closest they were going to get to a major rally for the left, and treated it as such, but mostly it was a place for moderation and sanity.

As always, it was great to see so many similarly minded people gathered in one place. Though things weren't as polite at the Obama election night rally, people were still pretty cool despite the crowds. It was amazing to see the metro trains so packed for hours before and after the rally. I wonder how many people actually came to DC to attend the rally, not just how many people actually made it to the rally.

Do I think this was a turning point? I hope so. But, if it is, it won't be a crashing wave of sanity and reasonableness, as that kind of energy seems to run counter to the whole point of the movement of calming things down. I was heartening to hear Keith Olbermann is shelving the "Worst Persons In the World" bit, and amusing for Glenn Beck to both try and minimize the rally and link it to his rally as well. With the election coming so close to the rally, it overshadowed many immediate responses, so it will be interesting to see how things settle out over time.

Things I Don’t Have to Think About Today

Today I don’t have to think about those who hear “terrorist” when I speak my faith.
Today I don’t have to think about men who don’t believe no means no.
Today I don’t have to think about how the world is made for people who move differently than I do.
Today I don’t have to think about whether I’m married, depending on what state I’m in.
Today I don’t have to think about how I’m going to hail a cab past midnight.

Today I don’t have to think about whether store security is tailing me.
Today I don’t have to think about the look on the face of the person about to sit next to me on a plane.
Today I don’t have to think about eyes going to my chest first.
Today I don’t have to think about what people might think if they knew the medicines I took.
Today I don’t have to think about getting kicked out of a mall when I kiss my beloved hello.

Today I don’t have to think about if it’s safe to hold my beloved’s hand.
Today I don’t have to think about whether I’m being pulled over for anything other than speeding.
Today I don’t have to think about being classified as one of “those people.”
Today I don’t have to think about making less than someone else for the same job at the same place.
Today I don’t have to think about the people who stare, or the people who pretend I don’t exist.

Today I don’t have to think about managing pain that never goes away.
Today I don’t have to think about whether a stranger’s opinion of me would change if I showed them a picture of who I love.
Today I don’t have to think about the chance a store salesmen will ignore me to help someone else.
Today I don’t have to think about the people who’d consider torching my house of prayer a patriotic act.
Today I don’t have to think about a pharmacist telling me his conscience keeps him from filling my prescription.

Today I don’t have to think about being asked if I’m bleeding when I’m just having a bad day.
Today I don’t have to think about whether the one drug that lets me live my life will be taken off the market.
Today I don’t have to think about the odds of getting jumped at the bar I like to go to.
Today I don’t have to think about “vote fraud” theater showing up at my poll station.
Today I don’t have to think about turning on the news to see people planning to burn my holy book.

Today I don’t have to think about others demanding I apologize for hateful people who have nothing to do with me.
Today I don’t have to think about my child being seen as a detriment to my career.
Today I don’t have to think about the irony of people thinking I’m lucky because I can park close to the door.
Today I don’t have to think about memories of being bullied in high school.
Today I don’t have to think about being told to relax, it was just a joke.

Today I don’t have to think about whether someone thinks I’m in this country illegally.
Today I don’t have to think about those who believe that freedom of religion ends with mine.
Today I don’t have to think about how a half-starved 23-year-old being a cultural ideal affects my life.
Today I don’t have to think about how much my life is circumscribed by my body.
Today I don’t have to think about people wanting me cured of loving who I love.

Today I don’t have to think about those who view me an unfit parent because of who I love.
Today I don’t have to think about being told my kind don’t assimilate.
Today I don’t have to think about people blind to the intolerance of their belief lecturing me about my own.
Today I don’t have to think about my body as a political football.
Today I don’t have to think about how much my own needs wear on those I love.

Today I don’t have to think about explaining to others “what happened to me.”
Today I don’t have to think about politicians saying bigoted things about me to win votes.
Today I don’t have to think about those worried that one day people like me will be the majority.
Today I don’t have to think about someone using the name of my religion as a slur.
Today I don’t have to think about so many of the words for me controlling my own life being negatives.

Today I don’t have to think about still not being equal.
Today I don’t have to think about what it takes to keep going.
Today I don’t have to think about how much I still have to hide.
Today I don’t have to think about how much prejudice keeps hold.
Today I don’t have to think about how I’m meant to be grateful that people tolerate my kind.

Today I don’t have to think about all the things I don’t have to think about.
But today I will.

(an interesting reflection on the suffering of others that simultaneously recognizes and subverts the author's privilege)

Hi,

So, this is going to be a (brief) posting about the discussion, or lack thereof, of heterosexual masculine sexuality. I've been thinking about this for a while, (probably since puberty, if not before), but I'm not sure what I'm ready to say about it. Luckily, I've come across some well written blog posts that get into the subject much easier and more comprehensively than I could. Most of the posts are written in a question based format, so it's easy to enter into without necessarily agreeing with the author's perspective.

So, really all I'm writing here is to say "hey! Read these!" My own thoughts may come later.

Why Do We Demonize Men Who Are Honest About Their Sexual Needs? This talks about something that makes me personally nervous and inhibiting, being labeled a "creep."

By the same author, a three part series on questions she wants to ask entitled cis het men. Despite the possibly off putting title, it's an approachable read.

Part 1: Who cares?

Part 2: Men's Rights

Part 3: Space For Men

This weekend was a full one at camp, with a number of different groups. One of the groups is a humanist community. They found us after the camp they stayed at previously changed their rules to only serve Christian groups. While that camp is completely within their rights, I'm glad that this group has come our way, because they have been a lot of fun.

So, at breakfast this morning, a guy comes in wearing a black t-shirt with a large A over the front of the shirt. My mind immediately came up with a scarlet letter joke, and wondered, due to the shape of the letter, if it was a t-shirt for the nerdly anticipated Avengers movie. For both reasons, I looked closer and saw that it was a Richard Dawkins t-shirt. For those of you who don't know, Richard Dawkins is an adamant atheist and secular humanist.

This shirt made me smile, especially on Memorial Day. As a person of faith, I'm glad I work in a place that can be so welcoming. As a citizen of the United States of America, it doubly reminds me of our First Amendment:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

So, thanks to all those who fought and died for our country to preserve the rights that we hold dear. I hope that on Memorial Day, we can be reminded of why these lives were given; because "We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by theirCreator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness." And the right to wear a big, bright A.

(This post was going to segue into my thoughts that we need to establish a Bill of Responsibilities, as many who protest against the Government fail to own up to their complicity in letting the government become this way, but I just don't feel that cynical right now.)

Like many of you, I've been wondering about the upswing in reactionary and inflammatory behavior in recent protests and political events. The Tea Party rallies against Health Care Reform, Republican representatives responses to the same issue, it all keeps building upon itself. The most recent events have me particularly worried.

We have members of Congress being called niggers and faggots. We have their offices being vandalized and windows broken. Some have even received death threats. This is stepping over the line from freedom of speech to illegal activity, some even say sedition. How many of these incidents need to take place before they aren't looked upon just as isolated cases, but symptoms of a larger illness?

What I find most worrying, is the lack of response from the Republican party and other conservative leaders in the face of these actions. In fact, it seems like the conservative idea is to fan the flames. Sarah Palin advises conservatives to "not retreat, but reload." Representative Stupak, a pro life candidate, was called a Babykiller on the House floor. And we can't forget Representative Wilson's "You Lie!" When our political leaders can't be counted on to preserve rational discourse, we stand on the brink of anarchy.

In a broader sense, I think the GOP's obstructionist tactics also contribute to this polarization. Instead of modeling a difference of opinion or a contrary point of view, they are the party of 'no.' That's fine in the short term, and may win them seats in the next election cycle. But I hope that they begin to realize that simply being contrarian is not a political position, and is maneuvering them into being allied with some pretty shady organizations and individuals. It's not a political party, it's an undefined mob, fueled by hate and fear.

Slowly, there seem to be some Republican voices that are beginning to see the problems that lie ahead. A former Bush speechwriter is saying that "Republicans originally thought that Fox worked for us and now we're discovering we work for Fox." Other conservatives have also started speaking out about this. And it's about time.

The growing Tea Party movement isn't a movement. As it functions now, it's a mob. It is a swirling irrationality, fueled by fear. Once the threats to our politicians began, the rage that was barely in check has released itself. This isn't a political movement, this is a back lash. We are looking at a ravenous creature, that will consume all that it can if it is not held in check. One Tea Party protestor, caught on film berating a counter protestor with Parkinsons, admits that he doesn't know what came over him, presumably he was caught up in the mob mentality.

This isn't to say that every Tea Partier is a violent individual. There are legitimate concerns that have been raised about how the government has prioritized various issues, whether you agree with them or not. There are questions about how we will pull ourselves out of this depression and if we will recover the lost jobs and the downturn in the housing market. But, the methodology being used in the Tea Party movement is not one of opposition to the Democratic party, but an all consuming nothing that will tear down whatever it can. It is the responsibility of all of our political leaders to address the needs of the people and not to fan the flames that already threaten to raze our country.

I find this article to be quite interesting. As a person who suffered\suffers from depression, I have also been identified as having many of the skills outlined in this article. Could major depression be an over expression of increased mental functioning?

http://smarterware.org/5371/the-evolutionary-reason-for-depression

Last night, I went to a play of Charles Dicken's A Christmas Carol that was performed by a local theatre company. I was really moved by the production. Though I'd heard the story many times before, this time I was struck by Scrooge's lovelessness. His alienation from humanity began when we loved money more than his fiancee. Perhaps what emphasized this more than in previous years was the following quote that was printed on the program guide. The actor who has played Scrooge for over 20 years announced his engagement in the program guide, using this quote:

There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.I believe that the most lawless and inordinate loves are less contrary to God’s will than a self-invited and self-protective lovelessness…We shall draw nearer to God, not by trying to avoid the sufferings inherent in all loves, but by accepting them and offering them to Him; throwing away all defensive armour. If our hearts need to be broken, and if He chooses this as a way in which they should break, so be it.What I know about love and believe about love and giving ones heart began in this. - C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

I can see a young businessman like Scrooge (or really any of us), looking at the potential losses that are present in love, and deciding for a safer investment. Perhaps as we continue to tighten our fiscal belts during this recession, we can loosen the belts that bind our hearts and give more of ourselves.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

If you are like me, you often make music compliations for various events: vacations, friends, and the occasional holiday mix. For Thanksgiving, I've usually just played "Alice's Restaurant" by Arlo Gutherie and called it a holiday. This year, NPR has put together a fine Thanksgiving's Day mix.

Songs For Stuffing: A Thanksgiving Mix.

I'm looking forward to listening to it myself.

Have a happy Thanksgiving!

From the wonders of Facebook, an article in the current issue of the Utne Reader has given me new hope of finding more common ground between the liberal and conservative camps. I have long been frustrated by conversations that I have with my dad. Even though we come from similar background and principals, we find ourselves far afield in the political spectrum.

The article states there are multiple moral impulses, some of which are more likely to be found in conservative beliefs, other are more common in liberal beliefs. Essentially, all of these are necessary to a fully functioning society, but each group of people value one set over another and is the source for the disagreements that play out in politics.

It's a short read and well worth it. I find it helpful to remind me that those I oppose are not necessarily ignorant or unfeeling, but that they are acting morally. An interesting subtext in the article is how some of the differences are based in class distinctions, which seems to be a blind spot in liberal academic theories. There also seems to be an assumption that liberals are inclined to be atheists, but that's a topic for a later post.

So, take a read.
http://www.utne.com/Politics/Liberals-Arent-Un-American-Conservatives-Arent-Ignorant.aspx

It's all over the internet today that Disney has bought Marvel Entertainment, which includes Marvel Comics. The fanboys are in a tizzy.

Just to get them out of my system, here are some of Disney\Marvel synergies I hope develop out of this deal:

1. Punisher \ Mickey Mouse crossover. I know that Punisher already had to deal with Archie and the Riverdale gang, but this just has to happen.

2. The Incredibles Vs. the Fantastic Four. I mean, c'mon, most of the Incredibles' powers are a rip off of the Fantastic Four anyway. Invisibility, the ability to stretch, a big strong guy, and a kid that catches on fire. Hell, if it wasn't for the super fast kid, they'd be carbon copies.

3. The Nutty Professor in Marvel continuity. Oh, for one superhero who's powers are based on flubber. Wait, the character is owned by Universal? Really? Damn. Fine, the dad from Honey I Shrunk the Kids, then.

4. Goofy Vs. Dr. Doom. Actually, there's no crossover potential here, just want to see Goofy get whacked.

5. Chip N Dale and Squirrel Girl porn. Disney isn't as pure at heart as you might think.

6. Namor vs. the Little Mermaid. There can be only one Atlantis....

7. The Runaways on the Disney channel. Oh, for a mind controlled velociraptor to be let loose on the set of Miley Cyrus' new tv show....

8. The Bambi movie in Marvel Zombies. Maybe now people would want his mom to be shot.

9. Animal vs. the Hulk. That's right, Disney owns the Muppets. Oh, the beautiful, beautiful carnage.

10. Winnie the Pooh and Tony Stark going on a bender. Honey and booze. They could both get drunk on mead. They also both seem to be fond of pots, be they honey pots or Pepper Potts.

My friend Sarah forwarded this response to my last blog post. Really, Monty Python does say it best.

This was posted on fark.com by someone calling themselves Ozone, and I intend to use it the next time some tries to scare me with government interventionist propaganda.

"This morning I was awoken by my alarm clock powered by electricity generated by the public power monopoly regulated by the U.S. Department of Energy.

I then took a shower in the clean water provided by a municipal water utility.

After that, I turned on the TV to one of the FCC-regulated channels to see what the National Weather Service of the National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration determined the weather was going to be like, using satellites designed, built, and launched by the National Aeronautics and Space Administration.

I watched this while eating my breakfast of U.S. Department of Agriculture-inspected food and taking the drugs which have been determined as safe by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration.

At the appropriate time, as regulated by the U.S. Congress and kept accurate by the National Institute of Standards and Technology and the U.S. Naval Observatory, I get into my National Highway Traffic Safety Administration-approved automobile and set out to work on the roads build by the local, state, and federal Departments of Transportation, possibly stopping to purchase additional fuel of a quality level determined by the Environmental Protection Agency, using legal tender issued by the Federal Reserve Bank.

On the way out the door I deposit any mail I have to be sent out via the U.S. Postal Service and drop the kids off at the public school.

After spending another day not being maimed or killed at work thanks to the workplace regulations imposed by the Department of Labor and the Occupational Safety and Health administration, enjoying another two meals which again do not kill me because of the USDA, I drive my NHTSA car back home on the DOT roads, to my house which has not burned down in my absence because of the state and local building codes and Fire Marshal's inspection, and which has not been plundered of all its valuables thanks to the local police department.

And then I log on to the internet -- which was developed by the Defense Advanced Research Projects Administration -- and post on Freerepublic.com and Fox News forums about how SOCIALISM in medicine is BAD because the government can't do anything right."

original source here.

Thank you ozone.