Things I Don’t Have to Think About Today

Today I don’t have to think about those who hear “terrorist” when I speak my faith.
Today I don’t have to think about men who don’t believe no means no.
Today I don’t have to think about how the world is made for people who move differently than I do.
Today I don’t have to think about whether I’m married, depending on what state I’m in.
Today I don’t have to think about how I’m going to hail a cab past midnight.

Today I don’t have to think about whether store security is tailing me.
Today I don’t have to think about the look on the face of the person about to sit next to me on a plane.
Today I don’t have to think about eyes going to my chest first.
Today I don’t have to think about what people might think if they knew the medicines I took.
Today I don’t have to think about getting kicked out of a mall when I kiss my beloved hello.

Today I don’t have to think about if it’s safe to hold my beloved’s hand.
Today I don’t have to think about whether I’m being pulled over for anything other than speeding.
Today I don’t have to think about being classified as one of “those people.”
Today I don’t have to think about making less than someone else for the same job at the same place.
Today I don’t have to think about the people who stare, or the people who pretend I don’t exist.

Today I don’t have to think about managing pain that never goes away.
Today I don’t have to think about whether a stranger’s opinion of me would change if I showed them a picture of who I love.
Today I don’t have to think about the chance a store salesmen will ignore me to help someone else.
Today I don’t have to think about the people who’d consider torching my house of prayer a patriotic act.
Today I don’t have to think about a pharmacist telling me his conscience keeps him from filling my prescription.

Today I don’t have to think about being asked if I’m bleeding when I’m just having a bad day.
Today I don’t have to think about whether the one drug that lets me live my life will be taken off the market.
Today I don’t have to think about the odds of getting jumped at the bar I like to go to.
Today I don’t have to think about “vote fraud” theater showing up at my poll station.
Today I don’t have to think about turning on the news to see people planning to burn my holy book.

Today I don’t have to think about others demanding I apologize for hateful people who have nothing to do with me.
Today I don’t have to think about my child being seen as a detriment to my career.
Today I don’t have to think about the irony of people thinking I’m lucky because I can park close to the door.
Today I don’t have to think about memories of being bullied in high school.
Today I don’t have to think about being told to relax, it was just a joke.

Today I don’t have to think about whether someone thinks I’m in this country illegally.
Today I don’t have to think about those who believe that freedom of religion ends with mine.
Today I don’t have to think about how a half-starved 23-year-old being a cultural ideal affects my life.
Today I don’t have to think about how much my life is circumscribed by my body.
Today I don’t have to think about people wanting me cured of loving who I love.

Today I don’t have to think about those who view me an unfit parent because of who I love.
Today I don’t have to think about being told my kind don’t assimilate.
Today I don’t have to think about people blind to the intolerance of their belief lecturing me about my own.
Today I don’t have to think about my body as a political football.
Today I don’t have to think about how much my own needs wear on those I love.

Today I don’t have to think about explaining to others “what happened to me.”
Today I don’t have to think about politicians saying bigoted things about me to win votes.
Today I don’t have to think about those worried that one day people like me will be the majority.
Today I don’t have to think about someone using the name of my religion as a slur.
Today I don’t have to think about so many of the words for me controlling my own life being negatives.

Today I don’t have to think about still not being equal.
Today I don’t have to think about what it takes to keep going.
Today I don’t have to think about how much I still have to hide.
Today I don’t have to think about how much prejudice keeps hold.
Today I don’t have to think about how I’m meant to be grateful that people tolerate my kind.

Today I don’t have to think about all the things I don’t have to think about.
But today I will.

Hi,

So, this is going to be a (brief) posting about the discussion, or lack thereof, of heterosexual masculine sexuality. I've been thinking about this for a while, (probably since puberty, if not before), but I'm not sure what I'm ready to say about it. Luckily, I've come across some well written blog posts that get into the subject much easier and more comprehensively than I could. Most of the posts are written in a question based format, so it's easy to enter into without necessarily agreeing with the author's perspective.

So, really all I'm writing here is to say "hey! Read these!" My own thoughts may come later.

Why Do We Demonize Men Who Are Honest About Their Sexual Needs? This talks about something that makes me personally nervous and inhibiting, being labeled a "creep."

By the same author, a three part series on questions she wants to ask entitled cis het men. Despite the possibly off putting title, it's an approachable read.

Part 1: Who cares?

Part 2: Men's Rights

Part 3: Space For Men

This weekend was a full one at camp, with a number of different groups. One of the groups is a humanist community. They found us after the camp they stayed at previously changed their rules to only serve Christian groups. While that camp is completely within their rights, I'm glad that this group has come our way, because they have been a lot of fun.

So, at breakfast this morning, a guy comes in wearing a black t-shirt with a large A over the front of the shirt. My mind immediately came up with a scarlet letter joke, and wondered, due to the shape of the letter, if it was a t-shirt for the nerdly anticipated Avengers movie. For both reasons, I looked closer and saw that it was a Richard Dawkins t-shirt. For those of you who don't know, Richard Dawkins is an adamant atheist and secular humanist.

This shirt made me smile, especially on Memorial Day. As a person of faith, I'm glad I work in a place that can be so welcoming. As a citizen of the United States of America, it doubly reminds me of our First Amendment:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

So, thanks to all those who fought and died for our country to preserve the rights that we hold dear. I hope that on Memorial Day, we can be reminded of why these lives were given; because "We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by theirCreator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness." And the right to wear a big, bright A.

(This post was going to segue into my thoughts that we need to establish a Bill of Responsibilities, as many who protest against the Government fail to own up to their complicity in letting the government become this way, but I just don't feel that cynical right now.)

Like many of you, I've been wondering about the upswing in reactionary and inflammatory behavior in recent protests and political events. The Tea Party rallies against Health Care Reform, Republican representatives responses to the same issue, it all keeps building upon itself. The most recent events have me particularly worried.

We have members of Congress being called niggers and faggots. We have their offices being vandalized and windows broken. Some have even received death threats. This is stepping over the line from freedom of speech to illegal activity, some even say sedition. How many of these incidents need to take place before they aren't looked upon just as isolated cases, but symptoms of a larger illness?

What I find most worrying, is the lack of response from the Republican party and other conservative leaders in the face of these actions. In fact, it seems like the conservative idea is to fan the flames. Sarah Palin advises conservatives to "not retreat, but reload." Representative Stupak, a pro life candidate, was called a Babykiller on the House floor. And we can't forget Representative Wilson's "You Lie!" When our political leaders can't be counted on to preserve rational discourse, we stand on the brink of anarchy.

In a broader sense, I think the GOP's obstructionist tactics also contribute to this polarization. Instead of modeling a difference of opinion or a contrary point of view, they are the party of 'no.' That's fine in the short term, and may win them seats in the next election cycle. But I hope that they begin to realize that simply being contrarian is not a political position, and is maneuvering them into being allied with some pretty shady organizations and individuals. It's not a political party, it's an undefined mob, fueled by hate and fear.

Slowly, there seem to be some Republican voices that are beginning to see the problems that lie ahead. A former Bush speechwriter is saying that "Republicans originally thought that Fox worked for us and now we're discovering we work for Fox." Other conservatives have also started speaking out about this. And it's about time.

The growing Tea Party movement isn't a movement. As it functions now, it's a mob. It is a swirling irrationality, fueled by fear. Once the threats to our politicians began, the rage that was barely in check has released itself. This isn't a political movement, this is a back lash. We are looking at a ravenous creature, that will consume all that it can if it is not held in check. One Tea Party protestor, caught on film berating a counter protestor with Parkinsons, admits that he doesn't know what came over him, presumably he was caught up in the mob mentality.

This isn't to say that every Tea Partier is a violent individual. There are legitimate concerns that have been raised about how the government has prioritized various issues, whether you agree with them or not. There are questions about how we will pull ourselves out of this depression and if we will recover the lost jobs and the downturn in the housing market. But, the methodology being used in the Tea Party movement is not one of opposition to the Democratic party, but an all consuming nothing that will tear down whatever it can. It is the responsibility of all of our political leaders to address the needs of the people and not to fan the flames that already threaten to raze our country.

I find this article to be quite interesting. As a person who suffered\suffers from depression, I have also been identified as having many of the skills outlined in this article. Could major depression be an over expression of increased mental functioning?

http://smarterware.org/5371/the-evolutionary-reason-for-depression

Last night, I went to a play of Charles Dicken's A Christmas Carol that was performed by a local theatre company. I was really moved by the production. Though I'd heard the story many times before, this time I was struck by Scrooge's lovelessness. His alienation from humanity began when we loved money more than his fiancee. Perhaps what emphasized this more than in previous years was the following quote that was printed on the program guide. The actor who has played Scrooge for over 20 years announced his engagement in the program guide, using this quote:

There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.I believe that the most lawless and inordinate loves are less contrary to God’s will than a self-invited and self-protective lovelessness…We shall draw nearer to God, not by trying to avoid the sufferings inherent in all loves, but by accepting them and offering them to Him; throwing away all defensive armour. If our hearts need to be broken, and if He chooses this as a way in which they should break, so be it.What I know about love and believe about love and giving ones heart began in this. - C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves