They say admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery. So, here goes.

I've been depressed. A lot and often. I really don't want to leave my house and it takes all of my energy to go to work and make it through the day. I am seeking professional help and I assume that this will involve medication, which only bums me out more. There's a lot of work stress in my life right now as well as personal concerns. In fact, it feels like my whole life is in play.

I'm not asking for anything but kind thoughts. One thing that has surprised me is the shame I feel around even bringing up the word depression. While ministry isn't a health care profession per se, there is a lot of overlap with the mental health field, and I'd thought that I'd gotten beyond any internalized stigma surrounding mental health disorders. I was wrong. I find in all of this, as hard as it is to say, I have more sympathy for my bi-polar ex-girlfriend.

I don't want to turn my blog into a space that is nothing more than me bitching about my life, so I don't think that I'll be posting often about how I'm doing. But, I am not going to hide my problems either.

Lastly, for those of you who think I just need to suck it up and push my way through my blues, bite me and get a clue. That kind of thinking has kept me where I am for too long.