Isolated from my family

Posted by Bushel Basket in

This week has been a pretty crappy one as far as dealing with my family is concerned. As you may or may not know, my middle sister is getting married next month to a guy that my family and I generally don't approve of. It's caused quite a bit of family strife, as you can imagine.

Well, the latest drama is that after weeks of internal debate, I told my sister that I would not walk her down the aisle. It was a hard decision on my part and took a lot of emotional and mental energy. I completely understand why she would be pissed with me and she has every right to be. However, what I did not expect was the severity of the backlash from my other two sisters and my mother, all of whom are walking her down the aisle. One sister refuses to talk to me and the other and I had a 'frank' discussion on the phone Sunday night. Tonight, I will talk to my mother.

I never expected anyone to be pleased with decision, as I am not pleased to have made it either. But, what chaps my @$$ is that my family hasn't tried to see things from my perspective, but has just unloaded all their pent up frustrations with this wedding on me. At other points during the build up for the wedding, I've helped most of them talk through some of their frustrations and pain that they feel, but I don't get the same consideration. I just get pigeonholed as being stubborn.

I am tired of trying to be open, to trying to see things from both perspectives. I'm tired of acting as counselor to my family and then being hung out to dry when I need them. My mother and my sisters' definition of "Supporting" my sister does not mesh with mine, but instead of trying to talk about it, I get shut out.

Sorry to vent like this, but I just needed to let it out. Thanks for reading.


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This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 26, 2008 at Wednesday, March 26, 2008 and is filed under . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .

4 comments

That's messed up. FWIW, I know that you wouldn't make that decision lightly, so I'm with ya.

March 26, 2008 at 3:11 PM

Thanks man, I appreciate it.

March 26, 2008 at 3:22 PM

I have to agree with J.R. From our discussions and the contents of this post, I don't think your family is taking the right tack at all. And that's all I'll say in this public forum.

March 26, 2008 at 6:20 PM

You're right to not pretend or be complicit.
I'm sorry that they don't get it and that you are becoming the scapegoat for their frustrations.

March 26, 2008 at 9:17 PM

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